Jealousy...roads may be slick

Lately, I've been thinking about the ill affects of jealously...okay I've been thinking a lot about it since yesterday at 8:25 AM. This story begins with someone we'll call Kanie. Not to be confused with Janie. Well soon after being married, Kanie became very jealous of the relationship between her husband Spike, not to be confused with me..Mike, and Betsy. Betsy is a white, voluptuous younger woman born in 1995 somewhere in Japan..or maybe Michigan. Spike has had a relationship with Betsy since 2002. Before someone calls the cops, Betsy is a Honda Accord EX, 2-Dr with a moon roof and only about 125k miles.


Well, Janie..I mean Kanie has despised Betsy ever since her car alarm would not stop going off one weekend. Whenever Spike gently caresses Betsy's wheel Kanie steams with rage. When Spike isn't around Kanie drives excessive speeds, doesn't let Betsy warm up, and eats and drinks in the car hoping to ruin the interior. In summary, Kanie has slowly tried to kill Betsy.
Well yesterday, Kanie almost succeeded..okay forget Kanie we all know who it really was. Yesterday was the first real day of snow this year and Janie went to drive Betsy to work. Using the excuse of the slick road, Janie thought she could gently nudge Betsy over the curb and down the hill from our apartment. As Janie neared the curb the brakes stopped working and the car ran straight into the curb, but miraculously survived with almost no scratches. However, there were internal, possibly life threatening injuries. Later that night, I took Betsy to the store, and the brakes stopped working. Besides that, the alignment was totally off. I slowly drove home at 5MPH fearing that her life was ending.




Today a tow truck took her (sort of an ambulance for old cars) to an auto shop and I am waiting to hear the prognosis. I hope that Betsy is fixable for two reasons.


1) I don't want to buy a car 8 months before moving to England.
2) I don't want Janie to have the satisfaction of killing Betsy.


Jealousy may take Betsy's life, but it will never take her memory. (Said kind of like Mel Gibson in Brave heart)